My parents did so many things right...but they did a lot of things wrong too and the things they did wrong influenced me as much as the things they did right. I recall as a teen specifically making notes to myself about what I was NOT going to be like as a parent based on what my parents WERE like. I laugh at that now but the truth was--it did have an enormous impact on my parenting style now. Sometimes when I run out of patience with my girls and start making unreasonable demands...I remember my notes and I pause...I take a moment to acknowledge the new found understanding & appreciation for my mom and then I try to do things differently because I still can remember how it felt to be the kid. When I get into a battle of wills with my 2 year old...I remember the battles of wills I had with my mother and I know that if Jasmine is anything like me...I need to change my strategy because when my mom pushed me--it only made me push back harder. (I'm speaking figuratively, of course. *smile* I don't want you thinking we literally were pushing each other!) Because of these experiences with my mom, I know that her approach didn't work and that I need to find a better way to change my stubborn child's behavior.
Click here for more details on that.) Now as a mom I have access to those memories and hopefully I use them to encourage & strengthen my children's faith and to recapture that faith within myself, as well.