"One Heartbeat at a Time"

Today I heard this song by Stephan Curtis Chapman for the first time due to friends' posts on Facebook. (Thanks Stephanie & Alicia!) It is a beautiful reminder of the value in what we do as "Mom". I hope you are blessed by it, too.

First Smiles

Acacia smiled at me yesterday for the first time & today I caught it on my camera! They aren't the best focused pictures but I was just happy to have caught the smile!











In way of update...she's doing wonderfully! They are going to finish off her antibiotic and then she gets to come home. Currently looking like Wednesday morning. So excited!

More photos here.

Acacia Update

Just wanted to update eveyone quickly about what is going on with me & the baby. She is doing much better. She has been on the antibiotics for a day now & her white blood cell count this morning was back in normal range. Her lungs seems to be clear of fluid. She is nursing really well & has the oxygen tube out now. Her oxygen levels have been good but she still drops whenever she gets really upset and that is the only real concern. She had an Echo this morning to rule out any problems with her heart and they didn't see anything concerning so that is good. The bad news is that I am being sent home this evening while Acacia is going to be here for a few more days. I can't hardly think about that without tearing up but I suppose it is for the best. As such I'll have to come in often to nurse her and I'll have to pump & bring in the milk so that they can feed her during the night. Doctor says she acts like a totally normal healthy baby...they just want to be sure that all signs of a possible infection are cleared up before she goes home. The next few days are going to be stressful & emotionally draining for me as I make trips back & forth between home and the hospital. My other girls will still be with my parents for a few more days so that will be good for me but possibly hard on them (both the girls & my parents!) Keep talking to God about us...He has blessed us so much!

There are some new photos of Acacia on my photosite to look at if you want.

Acacia Alexis is born!

Acacia Alexis has finally made her appearance. She was born yesterday evening, on her due date, (Sept. 24th) at 8:03. She weighed in at 7 lb 3.5 oz and measured at 19 1/4 in. Labor & delivery went well. After a week of waiting & getting my hopes up at every contraction, I finally had what seemed like the "real" thing yesterday afternoon. Although there was essentially no pain still, by 4:30 the contractions were consistently 3 min apart so I called the hospital & the nurse said that since I was already over 5 cm dilated that I should go ahead & come in. My parents had come up to stay with the girls so Russ & I came to the Birth Center & checked in. I was at 6 when I got here. Pain was minimal. Getting my IV was more painful than the contractions. (It took five pokes & four nurses before they finally were successful in getting it in place.) I was at 7 when my ob arrived. She broke my water & the contractions got a bit more intense but were still easily bearable. Around 7:45 the pain was VERY real and when the Dr checked on me at 8, I was hurting and ready to push. Three minutes of pushing and my little girl was born. I got to hold her on my chest for a couple minutes while we waited to clamp & cut the cord. This is the only chance I really had to look at her for three hours. Her oxygen saturation was low so they took her to the nursery to assess her more thoroughly. While Russ went with her, I stayed behind with the shakes just waiting until they gave me permission to get up and clean myself, after which I felt so much better! Russ stopped in briefly to tell me that the doctor order x-rays on her lungs to see if she had any fluid in there. I called my parents to let them know that their granddaughter was born & tell them what little I knew. (Most of our conversation went along the lines of "Russ thinks she was 7 lb 3 oz" "Russ didn't tell me that." "I don't know, I hardly got to see her." etc) A little bit later they moved me to my recovery room. At this point I was starting to get pretty anxious to see my baby. They were waiting on the x-ray results. Around 11:00 Russ came and took me to the NICU to see her finally! She did have fluid on her lungs & she was still having a hard time with her oxygen levels. After holding her awhile I had to go back to my room for my assessment. Soon thereafter the pediatrician had come in and looked at Acacia. He gave us a quick rundown of what was going on. He said that oftentimes when the delivery is that quick the baby doesn't always get all the fluid squeezed out and can take a big gulp of it down on the way out. He said that I should be able to nurse soon. That they'd be checking her blood for possible signs of infection & whatnot and those results would determine how things played out over the next few days. Sometime after midnight I went to the nursery to feed my baby and ended up observing an hour of late nights in the nursery before I got to do that. Russ went to bed, Acacia got blood drawn two or three times & I sat and watched & waited. The nurse said her breathing monitor had to stay below 70 before I could nurse. So I spent a lot of time staring at the numbers that represented her breathing & her oxygen absorption (which would set off an alarm if it fell below 87% for more than a few seconds.) Finally at a quarter after one (5 hrs after she was born) I got to feed her for the first time. It took a bit to get latched on but once she was she did great! I finally got to bed at 2 am.

Woke up today at 5:30 hungry & ready for some meds. I fed the baby, got a visit from my other girls & my parents. Eden was a bit wary at first but Jasmine was incredibly eager to see her baby sister, Acacia. While they were here the pediatrician told us that her white blood cell count was high enough that they were going to put her on anti-biotics. That was somewhat discouraging. It is so different being here without my baby in the room with me. We keep going to the nursery to visit & to nurse but the rockers in there are horribly uncomfortable to me so I can't stay with her for more than 40 min at a time anyway. Since noone can really see the baby & she's being cared for in the nursery, there is very little traffic in and out of my room. I'm thinking I may actually get some reading done while I'm here.

Anyway, just thought I'd spend part of this time updating my blog & writing some of the details down while they are fresh in my mind. There are more photos of her on my photosite--here. Keep us in your prayers. We are anxious to get our baby to ourselves!

Waiting...

So, I've been waiting for the arrival of the new little one. I had an appointment yesterday and was given the option of being induced this morning. I gotta tell you that it was tempting. But after some time of deliberation & prayer, I was confident in my decision to turn it down. I felt like God was challenging me. How much control do I want/need? How much do I trust Him and His perfect timing. During my decision/prayer time yesterday, I happened to open my Bible up to Psalm 139. It really was perfect. Through this scripture He reminded me that He knows every move, thought, word of mine before I have the chance to make, think or say it. "You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether." He reminded me that He created things a certain way and that their is no reason not to trust His systems. "For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works" He reminded me that He created my little girl & knows the number of her days...when they will begin & when they will end. "And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them." And He reminded me that He sees my anxieties & knows my fears and that I have no reason not to give them up to Him & trust His timing no matter what. So..while I am getting rather impatient at times and knowing that if I had allowed medical intervention I could have my baby with me right now...I am confident that I made the right choice and that my baby will be in my arms in God's perfect timing. My job is just to wait. "There's a time to work; a time to rest and believe that He knows best. It will happen, all in God's time!"

BTW: The above quote is from a little known song that has always been the one that dwells in my heart & mind in times like this. It is called "All in God's Time" and is sung by a guy named Danny Byram. I bought his tape at a sidewalk sale for really cheap when I was a kid. (I wonder whatever happened to him.)

Newborn Photography

As much as I like to think of myself as a photographer, there is just so much that I don't know & so much I have yet to learn that I still am hesitant to take photography jobs with confidence. Yesterday I had my first "photo shoot" with a newborn taking pictures of a friend's month old baby. I was nervous about lighting a newborn indoors on dark chilly day with very little natural light but I was so happy with how well they turned out that I just want to show them off to everybody! I ended up getting the chance to utilize my new Canon flash, using it to bounce the light off of their white ceiling and it worked perfectly! No harsh light, no flash in baby's eyes, and all kinds of neat shadows to showcase the beautiful wrinkles of a newborn! I learned something new about my equipment, about lighting & about posing babies and hopefully the parents were rewarded with some nice photos of baby Luc.






View more here.

A Strange Pregnancy Dream

So, earlier today I was napping (I thought lightly) but I had a strange mini dream in which I was trying to purchase a soda from a vending machine (uncharacteristic of my life as it is) and when I put my dollar in and pushed the button...instead of pop, a newborn baby fell out!

"Look at me from the side. Do I look bigger to you?"

Jasmine's 1st Dance Class

Today was the first dance class of the season & Jasmine's first ever. I have the girls in the same class this year which is nice for me and them. Jasmine was so excited. She kept saying she couldn't wait and when we got there, as soon as her shoes were on she was in the studio without even a second glance back at mama. My mom got them new matching pink outfits to wear and they looked adorable! I think it's going to be a fun year for them.