Today at C. Beth Blog she did a post about how she is content with her two children and asked her readers how we feel about the number of kids we have and I felt like this was a great opportunity to express my current thoughts on the subject.
I grew up as the first of three kids; Russ was the second of two. I have generally always wanted three kids (it seemed like the perfect number to me. Russ said from the beginning that he wanted four. I was not opposed to four so since we got married our answer to the question of how many kids do you want has always been, "Three or four. One at a time and we'll see how it goes." When I had Eden, there was no question of having a second. When I had Jasmine, we just knew there would be another. But then we had Acacia, #3, and I feel differently. There is a question and yet... not. I emotionally feel totally content with my three girls and yet I really believe beyond any doubt that we will try again. I know we will have at least four kids. (if God allows) That is a strange feeling that I never encountered previous to this.
Our marriage has been on a two year cycle. We got married, two years, we had Eden, two years, we had Jasmine, two years, we had Acacia. That was the plan and that's how it worked. So now that Acacia is a year old, the questions have begun. If we were going to have a baby at two years again, it is about time to start thinking about that. But we're not. I'm not ready to think about having another baby. I tell people who ask, give me another year and then we probably will. But I'm not gonna swear by it. The plan was three or four. We have three...now the plan is flexible. I'm just gonna take life one day at a time and see how it goes. Maybe we'll never have another kid...but I suspect we will. And (you may have noticed) that above I wrote "at least four" because while I'm convinced right now that I do not want more than four...I am not yet convinced that that is God's plan for me. I have had an inkling over the years that God may one day request more of me than that. But for now...that is in God's hands and I am working with the plan of "probably 4" and I'll let time and my sovereign God determine whether our family stays a family of 5, grows by one, or exceeds our current expectations in unknown ways.