A love letter to my mother

I've heard it said that children will never love their mother as much as the mother loves her children and in some sense I think it's true. A mother loves her children selflessly and sacrificially in a way that children don't. When a child is born, the mother spends her next eighteen years thinking about what is best for her child and working to raise that child to become a responsible, well-rounded individual who can leave home and succeed on his/her own.

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The child's role in the relationship, in a lot of ways, is dependence. This role of dependence at first results in the child feeling secure and looking to his/her mother with admiration and awe. As the child gets older...he/she starts resenting this dependence and starts rebelling against the mother that loves him/her so much. When the child is old enough, he/she leaves home and starts living a life that is separate from his/her parents. The child is no longer dependent on the mother and therefore the mother's role is changed and the selflessness that she has dedicated her life to is no longer needed in the same capacity. It is because of this that it appears as if the children do not love their mother as much as she loves them but I don't think that it is the amount of love that is the issue.

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Children adore their mothers and as they get older, it is true that they no longer see the same perfection in her that they saw when they were babies and it's true that opinions begin to diverge from 'what Mommy thinks' but to some extent the selfless sacrifices made and the love poured out for us have not gone unheeded.

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To my mom, I must tell you that we, your children, care more about what you think than we typically ever want to admit and that the reason that you think that we are irritated by you and whatnot is because we hurt when you see flaws in us. We hurt when you challenge our decisions. We hurt when you don't take pride in the things that we care about. Our lives and our viewpoints may never match yours again...and we often will not make different choices because you want us to...but please NEVER think that this reflects in ANY WAY the depth of our love for you. I dare to challenge the statement that started this blog. Your children DO love you...perhaps not more than you love us...but we LOVE YOU IMMENSELY! ANd when you say otherwise, you cut us to the core. Our lives would be devestated if something happened to you tomorrow. I know with all my heart that I speak for Jordan & Jill too. A child's love for his/her parents may have a different face than the love that a mother has for her child but to say that the amount of love is less cannot be so.



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