I Heart Faces: "Oh So Silly"

I Heart Faces: "By the Book"

I absolutely LOVE books and am an avid reader.  When I saw this week's theme I was so excited.  But choosing a photo was not easy.  I settled on this photo of my daughter "reading" a book to my dad.  I love the expression on her face and the relationship you can see between them.  Hope you like it too.  :)

I Heart Faces: : "Family Fun"

I Heart Faces: "Best Face Photo of 2011"

Smile...it's a whole new year!

Christmas: Take Two (A.k.a. New Years Eve)

It has become a tradition over the last several years to celebrate Christmas with Russ' family at our house over the New Year's holiday weekend.  This year was no exception.  His parents, aunt, & sister's family all spent the weekend here, and we had a fun time celebrating Christmas again with them and ringing in the new year!

Books I read in 2011

• 61) 'A Heart for Home' by Lauraine Snelling 12/22
• 60) 'No Distance to Far' by Lauraine Snelling 12/20
• 59) 'Note of Peril' by Hannah Alexander 12/14
• 58) 'A Measure of Mercy' by Lauraine Snelling 12/6
• 57) 'Ereth's Birthday' by Avi 12/2
• 56) 'Freefall' by Kristen Heitzman 11/8
• 55) 'Recovering Charles' by Jason F. Wright 11/3
• 54) 'The Lightkeeper's Daughter' by Colleen Coble 10/20
• 53) 'Heaven is For Real' by Todd Burpo 10/13
• 52) 'The Blessed' by Ann H. Gabhart 10/12
• 51) 'Edge of Eternity' by Randy Alcorn 9/7
• 50) 'The Help' by Kathryn Stockett 8/25
• 49) 'Falconer's Quest' by T. Davis Bunn & Isabella Bunn 8/22
• 48) 'Dancing with My Father' by Sally Clarkson 8/21
• 47) 'Flabbergasted' by Ray Blackston 8/2
• 46) 'Bittersweet' by Cathy Marie Hake 7/25
• 45) 'Candle in the Darkness' by Lynn Austin 6/24
• 44) 'Water for Elephants' by Sara Gruen 6/12
• 43) 'The Falcon and the Sparrow' by M.L. Tyndall 6/7
• 42) 'Soul Surfer' by Bethany Hamilton 6/2
• 41) 'Sun Stand Still' by Steven Furtick 6/2
• 40) 'The Light Princess' by George Macdonald (audio) 6/1
• 39) 'The Last Battle' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 5/23
• 38) 'The Silver Chair' by C.S. Lewis (audio)
• 37) 'Health and Wholeness Through the Holy Communion' by Joseph Prince 5/10
• 36) 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 5/8
• 35) 'At the Scent of Water' by Linda Nichols 4/28
• 34) 'Prince Caspian' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 4/25
• 33) 'The Horse and His Boy' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 4/20
• 32) 'Here's the Story' by Maureen McCormick 4/18
• 31) 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 4/17
• 30) 'The Magician's Nephew' by C.S. Lewis (audio) 4/13
• 29) 'Elyon' by Ted Dekker and Kaci Hill 4/13
• 28) 'Lunatic' by Ted Dekker and Kaci Hill 4/11
• 27) 'Chaos' by Ted Dekker 4/8
• 26) 'Renegade' by Ted Dekker 4/6
• 25) 'Infidel' by Ted Dekker 4/2
• 24) 'Chosen' by Ted Dekker 3/31
• 23) 'Sinner' by Ted Dekker 3/26
• 22) 'Mostly Harmless' by Douglas Adams (audio) 3/25
• 21) 'So Long and Thanks for all the Fish" by Douglas Adams (audio) 3/18
• 20) 'Life, the Universe, and Everything' by Douglas Adams (audio) 3/16
• 19) 'Saint' by Ted Dekker 3/15
• 18) 'Showdown' by Ted Dekker 3/10
• 17) 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe' by Douglas Adams (audio) 3/10
• 16) 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams (audio) 3/3
• 15) 'A Touch of Grace' by Lauraine Snelling 3/1
• 14) 'Hidden Gifts' by Rick Hamlin 2/26
• 13) 'Sophie's Dilemma' by Lauraine Snelling 2/21
• 12) 'Whirlwind' by Cathy Marie Hake 2/10
• 11) 'When God Winks at You' by SQuire Rushnell 2/7
• 10) 'Green' by Ted Dekker 2/2
• 9) 'The Chocolate War' by Robert Cormier 1/24
• 8) 'White' by Ted Dekker 1/20
• 7) 'Red' by Ted Dekker 1/18
• 6) 'Black' by Ted Dekker 1/16
• 5) 'A Constant Heart' by Siri Mitchell 1/12
• 4) 'The Return of the King' by J.R.R. Tolkien 1/11
• 3) 'The Two Towers' by J.R.R. Tolkien 1/8
• 2) 'The Fellowship of the Ring' by J.R.R. Tolkien 1/5
• 1) 'The Facts of Life and other lessons my Father taught me' by Lisa Whelchel 1/3

My Christmas Gift...

...from my sweet husband.
I'm looking forward to the next year with the love of my life!  :)

Christmas: Take One

We spent Christmas weekend with my family.  The weather was beautiful.  We played cards, went sledding, shot bows, ate food, played, lived, loved!  Here are a few shots from the weekend...

Merry Christmas...

Loss...

I am having kind of a hard week emotionally.  I'm sure that the stresses of the holiday season, homeschooling, bathroom remodel drama and hormones are all contributing,  but the truth is that I'm still mourning the baby that I lost.

This Friday would have marked my 20th week--the half way point of pregnancy.  But instead of joyfully announcing the gender of my child, I am dealing with my monthly reminder that I am no longer growing that baby inside of me.

I wish I could go back to 'before' when I didn't know first-hand how fragile life can be.  Back when the thought of getting pregnant was just exciting and not both something I crave and fear at the same time.

I don't know why this week has been harder than the others.  Maybe it's something about how the holidays bring out a sentimental side.  Maybe it's all the reminders that I'm not pregnant.  Maybe it's all the pregnant women and talk of babies that seems to be happening lately.  Maybe I can chock it up to the "that time of the month" hormones.  I don't know.  But what I do know is that I'm sad.  And that even though I realize how unbelievably blessed I am and that when I compare my lot in life with those of others...I feel as though I have no room to complain--I still feel the pain of loss and I still have so many bittersweet moments when I miss what should have been.

No one wants to talk about it...and I don't suppose I really want to either.  But at the same time I don't want to pretend like it never happened and that I don't still think about it on a daily basis.  Russ knows that I still struggle...but even to him I only hint at the reason 'cause I can't bring myself to actually say the words.

Life may be back to "normal" but my heart will never quite be the same. 

Sharing the journey

I love blogs.  As fun as it can be to have a blog...the best thing is being able to participate in other people's lives through their blogs.

I got started in the world of blogging a few years ago after my 10 year high school reunion when one of my classmates led me to her blog and encouraged me to start my own.  Since then my world has expanded so much.  I have people in my life whose hearts & lives I feel more connected to than most of the people I know in real life because they have chosen to blog.  My awareness has spread in a very personal way because of their blogs.  Many of the bloggers I "know" best and have been most impacted by were so-called "mommy bloggers" who led "normal" lives like mine when I started to follow them but have since been changed by unforeseen movements in their lives and as a result have reached into my life and allowed me to get a taste of something different.

Because of the blogs of people like Tiffany & Lara, I have traveled to Africa on life-altering adoption journeys and have developed a soft spot for adoption.  I have been introduced to the ins & outs of the international adoption process, the joys & pains of making a former orphan a member of a loving family, and the sudden change in worldview that can occur when visiting less fortunate countries of the world.

Because of blogs like Ramee's and Becca's, I have been allowed to peak into a life that exists in my fears of having a child with great physical challenges.  Reading their blogs and others like them, I have a rare opportunity to feel for a moment what that mom feels and, through her journey, find a peace in knowing that if her situation became mine, I too could find a way to deal with it beautifully and with grace & strength through Christ.  Sharing in their journeys gives me perspective and humbles my mother heart.  It also personalizes the causes that I see promoted around me and softens me to care.

Through C. Beth Blog, I get to experience a bit of the gift of surrogacy.  Through From Chaos to Grace, I get a glimpse of life as a foster parent.

Because of blogging, I had the chance to watch a couple struggle with their marriage and reunite, I have mourned with a recent divorcee who then struggled through her ex's suicide.  I get to participate in the work of people in the mission field.  I learn how other people have chosen to live more frugal lives.  The things I get to witness through the blogging community are amazing.

I am so grateful for people willing to open their hearts & minds & lives with the world through blogging.  It is a risk.  It can be hard being vulnerable with people who can rake your soul across the coals with one anonymous comment.  But I am so grateful,  because their willingness to share has enriched my life and has served to prepare me for whatever the future of my journey may hold.  Right now my life is pretty "normal" but one of these days God may decide to take me in an unexpected direction like He did with so many of these bloggers and when He does, I know that I will be a little more equipped because these woman shared their journey with me.