About Me

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I love Jesus. I love my family. I love photography. I love books. I love thinking. Probably in that order. I have a wonderful husband, five beautiful daughters, a house, and a camera. I enjoy spending time talking to my husband, playing with my girls, redecorating my house and shooting things with my camera. In my spare time, I sleep.

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

"Birthday Flowers"




"Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

This woman.   

She was born at the start of the Great Depression.  

She was a young woman as the events of World War 2 unfolded:  The Holocaust, Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima.  

She left a somewhat unhappy home as a teenager and began working as a nurse.  

She married and  raised 4 kids in the 50s, 60s & 70s:  as wars waged in Asia and a "live free" Woodstock revolution began to dominate the culture of America.  

She read the stories in the newspaper during the Cold War, saw the footage of 911 and is currently isolated from her family at a local hospital on her 91st birthday because of Covid-19.  

And while I’m struggling right now with everything going on…this woman…this woman who I admire so much for so many reasons,…when I called her today to wish her a happy birthday and lamented on how this isn’t the ideal birthday situation…do you know what she said to me?   

She said that this birthday is going down as a good birthday…  

Because her infection is getting better.  

Because she doesn’t have to fix her own meals. 

Because her hospital has gluten-free options.  

Because her daughters sent her plants.  

Because she got over 60 cards in the mail.  

Because people she taught in Sunday School 40 years ago took the time to tell her about how she touched their lives.  

Because she got to see my brother’s wedding pictures today after not being able to attend the wedding.  

Because she got to talk to me on the phone….

She told me that she thinks that I’m like her and that makes her happy. 

And that brought me to tears as I told her that, while I don’t feel like I live up to all her positive qualities, she is one of the people I wish to be most like.  

And in her typical style,  she responded by saying that those words were  just “another flower in her birthday cap!”   

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love you, Grandma! 
Thank you for your positivity, encouragement & unconditional love. 



Monday, February 3, 2020

Forty



Lordy, lordy…I am a quadragenarian.

Part of me is a little sad that the “young” part of my life has passed and I’ve reached what is (hopefully) “the middle” of my life.  On the other hand…the middle of the sandwich is the best part (especially when you’re gluten free!)  According to the Facebook page, Bake Me I’m Yours, 40 is “when women acquire a special depth and level of wisdom, grace, confidence and success.  I think they are correct. 

I may be a little flabbier in the middle and acquire a back injury backing out of my parking space at Target but I have never felt as confident and self-assured as I do at this point in my life.   Recently, I have spent much time reflecting on who I am and on how I got here and it’s obvious to me how correct Ralph Waldo Emerson was when he wrote, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”   The biggest growths in life do not often happen by accident.   Rather, they happen when we decide to change; when we decide that we can be something better than what we currently are and we take the first small steps toward becoming that.  And how much greater are those steps when directed & blessed by “El Roi”, the God who sees me (and loves me anyway!)    

If this is the middle then that means I have just as many years in front of me as I have behind and I want to enter this half with anticipation and not dread.  For I am going to keep improving the content of my mind, the sensibility of my emotions, my attentiveness to my body, and the depth of my character.   I want to know that I will hear “Well done.” when I finally see my Savior face to face.  



So today I am going to celebrate turning 40…

I am going to wake up a little earlier so I can study Exodus before breakfast.

I am going to drink a Starbucks chai and then maybe go to the gym.

I am going to help my kids with their math and not take it personally when they yell at me when they still don’t understand.

I am going to take my vitamins, eat my vegetables and then enjoy a little dessert instead of a big one.

I am going to wait politely in line, smile at the cashier and tip generously because I recognize that they just might be having a bad day, too.

I am going to feel overwhelmed, get frustrated & angry but I am going to take a deep breath, slow down and remember that I am in control of my emotions and they are not in control of me.

I am going to accept the help of others and I am going to offer to be the help they need in turn.

I am going to laugh, love, compliment & thank a little bit more than I rant, rave, worry & fear.

I am going to fail but I am always going to try again.

Friday, January 3, 2020

Books I Read in 2019

Books I've read in 2019

  • 01) 'A Star Curiously Singing" by Kerry Nietz 1/1
  • 02) 'The Superlative Stream' by Kerry Nietz 1/5
  • 03) 'Wildcard' by Marie Lu (audio) 1/8
  • 04) 'Freeheads' by Kerry Nietz 1/12
  • 05) 'Outlander' by Diana Gabaldon 1/21
  • 06) 'Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity" by Kathi Lipp & Cheri Gregory 1/27
  • 07) 'The Gender Game" by Bella Forrest 1/27
  • 08) "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom 1/28
  • 09) 'The Gender Secret' by Bella Forrest 2/2
  • 10) 'Rippler" by Cidney Swanson 2/4
  • 11) 'Chameleon' by Cidney Swanson 2/6
  • 12) 'Unfurl' by Cidney Swanson 2/7
  • 13) 'Skyward' by Brandon Sanderson (audio) 2/7
  • 14) 'The Gender Lie" by Bella Forest 2/15
  • 15) 'Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakeable Peace' by Sarah Mackenzie 2/18
  • 16) 'The Gender War' by Bella Forest 2/21
  • 17) 'The Gender Fall' by Bella Forest 2/28
  • 18) 'The Gender Plan' by Bella Forest 3/7
  • 19) 'Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds' by Philip E. Johnson 3/11
  • 20) 'The Gender End' by Bella Forest 3/15
  • 21) 'Once Upon A Prince' by Rachel Hauck 3/22
  • 22) 'Unlimited' by Davis Bunn 3/25
  • 23) 'Mark of the Plague' by Kevin Sands (audio) 3/26
  • 24) 'Breathe' by Sarah Crossan 3/28
  • 25) "Princess Ever After' by Rachel Hauck 3/30
  • 26) 'Man Made Boy' by Jon Skovron (audio) 4/1
  • 27) 'Resist' by Sarah Crossan 4/3
  • 28) 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking' by Susan Cain 4/4
  • 29) 'How to Catch a Prince' by Rachel Hauck 4/11
  • 30) 'Words Aptly Spoken:Short Stories' by Classical Conversations 4/16
  • 31) 'Raising Girls' by Melissa Trevathan 4/25
  • 32) 'The Sidekicks Initiative: A Comedy Superhero Adventure' by Barry Hutchinson (audio) 4/26
  • 33) 'Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors' by Benjamin Wallace (audio) 4/30
  • 34) 'Knights of the Apocalypse' by Benjamin Wallace (audio) 5/8
  • 35) 'Pursuit of the Apocalypse' by Benjamin Wallace (audio) 5/10
  • 36) 'Space Team' by Barry J. Hutchison (audio) 5/17
  • 37) 'Watch Your Junk and Other Advice for Expectant Fathers' by Benjamin Wallace (audio) 5/17
  • 38) 'A Quiet Life in the Country' by T E Kinsey (audio) 5/19
  • 39) 'Young Elizabeth: The Making of the Queen' by Kate Williams 5/28
  • 40) 'Outside the Jukebox: How I Turned My Vintage Music Obsession Into My Dream Gig' by Scott Bradlee 5/31
  • 41) 'The Mystery of Alice' by Lee Bacon (audio) 6/4
  • 42) '#IMomSoHard' by Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley (audio) 6/11
  • 43) 'The Vexed Generation' by Scott Meyer (audio) 6/20
  • 44) 'The Witch of Blackbird Pond' by Elizabeth George Speare 6/22
  • 45) 'The Choosing' by Rachelle Dekker 6/24
  • 46) 'The Calling' by Rachelle Dekker 7/7
  • 47) 'Lock In' by John Scalzi (audio) 7/18
  • 48) 'The Returning' by Rachelle Dekker 7/25
  • 49) 'The Case of the Damaged Detective' by Drew Hayes (audio) 8/2
  • 50) 'Second Hand Curses' by Drew Hayes (audio) 8/9
  • 51) 'Head On' by John Scalzi (audio) 8/14
  • 52) 'The Adventures of Tom Stranger, Interdimentional Insurance Agent' by Larry Correia (audio) 8/18
  • 53) 'Wally Roux, Quantum Mechanic by Nick Carr (audio) 8/19
  • 54) 'Patmos Deception' by Davis Bunn 9/1
  • 55) 'Capital Gaines: Smart things I Learned Doing Stupid Stuff' by Chip Gaines 9/5
  • 56) 'Butterfly Palace' by Colleen Coble (audio) 9/10
  • 57) 'The Question-Teaching Your Child the Essentials of Classical Education' by Leigh A. Bortins 9/11
  • 58) 'The Young Elites' by Marie Lu (audio) 9/23
  • 59) 'Agent to the Stars' by John Scalzi (audio) 10/2
  • 60) 'The Austen Escape' by Katherine Reay (audio) 10/16
  • 61) 'Number the Stars' by Lois Lowry (audio) 10/21
  • 62) 'Through Gates of Splendor' by Elisabeth Elliot (audio) 10/28
  • 63) 'A Reluctant Bride' by Jody Hedlund (audio) 11/2
  • 64) 'Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection' by Alexander C. Kane (audio) 11/17
  • 65) 'A Murder of Manatees' by Larry Correia (audio) 11/26
  • 66) 'Starsight' by Brandon Sanderson (audio) 12/13
  • 67) 'Glamorous Illusions' by Lisa Tawn Bergren (audio)12/25
  • 68) 'Best Christmas Pageant Ever' by Barbara Robinson 12/28
  • 69) 'Grave Consequences' by Lisa Tawn Bergren (audio) 12/30

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Cute Things My Kids Have Said-Part 16





11/14/18    Talking about the trapped feelings they’d get exploring the deep ocean or space. Jasmine: “I’d rather go in the ocean because at least it’s still on earth.” Russ: “I’d rather go to space because I’ve visited the ocean.” Kira: “I wouldn’t want to go to space because I don’t want to get hit with the balls.” Eden: “I’d rather go to heaven than either of those places.” Kira: “You probably would go to heaven if you went to either of those places!”

11/17/18 Overheard: Kira-“Let’s pretend we are just kids having fun.”

11/21/18   Kira: “You look old, mama. You look old like a grandma. You look really wrinkly right now.”

11/23/18 
Me: “Kira, why are you naked?”
Kira: “My shirt was wet....I like chewing on it.”

11/25/18 Eden: “If I was ever in public school and someone was bullying me, I’d just say ‘So’s your face!’”

12/3/18  Bria woke me up this morning, “Where Daddy go? Daddy back at work?” I told her, “Yes. Daddy’s back at work.” Bria: “That’s mean!”

12/17/18 
Bria snuggles up to Russ, looks up at him and says, “I love you!” 
Russ: “ I love you too!” 
Bria: “You are the worst.” 
Russ: “What? No, you’re the worst.” 
Bria: “So’s your face.”


1/7/19 Bria put her hand on my shoulder, looked up at me and said, “You’re my hero.” đŸ’•  

2/14/19
Kira: “You have a very jiggly butt!”

2/14/19
Tonight I said to Bria: “Are you going to go to bed now?” Bria: “That’s not going to be happening.”

3/4/19
Today while I was on the phone, Bria was in her room coloring. She comes out and walks up to her sister and says, “My hand is bloody!” I look over and she had colored her entire hand and half her arm completely with a bright red marker! She had written on her leg yesterday also. So tonight I’m giving her a bath and I asked her, “Are you supposed to write on yourself?” Bria: “No.” Me: “Are you going to do that again in the future?” Bria: “Yes” Me: “Why?” Bria: “Because. I’m going to do it again in the future.”



3/13/19
Eden: “Mom, what’s higher than a trillion?”
Jasmine: “A trillion and one.”

3/16/19
Acacia:  "The lights are on but they're not very bright."

3/16/19
Jasmine (about wasabi):  "It's like the smell of nail polish remover only spicy."

3/17/19
I asked Bria what her favorite part of the day was... “Umm, this.” (As she shows me her ring finger on her right hand.) đŸ˜‚

3/22/19
I groan to myself. Bria, who sitting nearby playing, says, “What, Mom?” I said, “My phone is dying.” Bria: “Oh! I get it.” *resumes playing*

3/25/19
Jasmine: “If I had a husband, I’d want him to be quiet.”

4/8/19
Overheard:
Kira: “Bria put down the pencils! We are not cat drummers!”

4/19/19
Bria: “Mommy. You look like Bob.”
Umm...thanks? #whoisbob

4/26/19
I randomly asked Jasmine “Why is life so hard sometimes?” She insightfully answered, “If it wasn’t we wouldn’t learn anything.”

5/5/19
Getting ready to watch “Crazy Rich Asians”. Bria says, “That guy is ugly.” Me: “What about her? Do you think she’s pretty?” Bria: “That girl almost looks like you.” đŸ˜‚

5/8/19
I was kissing Bria’s cheeks and said, “I could kiss your cheeks all day! They are so sweet and soft.” Bria: “And healthy!”

5/15/19
Bria came up to me and said (as she often does), "Mom, What do you want?" I answered, "Same thing I always want, Brain." Bria: "Ewww...Mommy said she wants brain!!"

5/21/19
Jasmine: “Bria, what are you doing?”
Bria: “Trying to get you!”
Jasmine: “After you get me then what are you going to do?”
Bria: “Pick my nose.”

5/23/19
After Acacia & I were talking about the extra tax on fast food—-
Bria: “I don’t like tax. I like dinosaurs.”

6/4/19
I was snuggling with Bria and asked her if she was ready for and excited about the summer reading program. With a hopeful smile with a hopeful voice, “For dancers?” I told her “For readers.” She acted like she was disappointed and so I said, “Dancers can be readers!” She held her hands out like a book and said, “Like ‘Once Upon a Dream’!” And she started singing!

6/8/19
Bria: “Can I have a Rice Christmas Tree?” (Rice Krispy Treat)

6/8/19
Bria came up to me and lifted her arms up for me to pick her up. I said, “I don’t pick up dinosaurs.” Bria said, “But you pick up Brias.”

6/26/19
Getting in the car this morning...
Bria: “Mommy are you sick?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Bria: “Can you drive?”
Me: “Yeah...I think I can handle driving.”
Bria: “You can drive. You are amazing at driving!”

6/26/19
Jasmine:  "You don't realize how much your parents do for you until they stop."

6/29/19
Kira (after playing at the park): “I thought I had lice but it was just rocks.”

7/24/19
This morning Kira was walking around on her tiptoes and Jasmine asked her why. She said “I’m trying to be like the Beast from Belle.”

7/25/19
Looking at a picture of sets of markers on Facebook...Eden: "The rainbows make my eyes happy."

7/27/19
I was up watching the sunrise and Bria ends up sitting outside with me.  At one point I told her how sometimes God uses the bird to talk to me.  That's often how He says, "Hi!"   Eventually I had to come in and lay down because of my rib hurting in my back.  A little bit later Bria comes in and says to me, "The birds say you have to come out here."

7/27/19
Bria: “I had a dream about a spider in my boobs!”

8/14/19
Bria: "Mommy, can I have a sandwich? I want Peanut Butter & Honey and Ham."

8/26/19
Kira: “I was make-suring no one goes in the kitchen.”

10/1/19
Referring to Pluto
Jasmine:  "Once a planet; always a planet."

10/9/19
I was telling Bria that Russ was going to fly home tonight. Bria: “Is he gonna be a bird?”

10/16/19
Jasmine:  "I don't know who I'm going to marry but I know what kind of guy I'm gonna marry.  I want him to be calm, not crazy.  Kinda shy.  But not too shy.  I want him to stand up for himself.  I want him to be smart.  That's a necessity!  He can't care too much about 'that stuff' because that's gross!   I just don't really care what he looks like.   I just don't want him to have long hair.  And I don't really want him to have a mustache."

11/7/19
Reading funny kid tweets on Facebook and laughing; Bria asks me what I’m laughing about.
Me: “Kids. Toddlers are funny! Are you a toddler? Do you say funny things?”
Bria: “No.”
Me: “Really? You’re not a toddler?”
Bria: “Nope. I’m the captain!”

11/18/19
This morning I was awakened to Bria standing next to my bed saying, "Cockle-doodle-doo!" I asked her why she was doing that... "Because it's morning time!"

11/19/19
Jasmine: "When I study in my room--study for real; not kissing--I don't like listening to music."

11/19/19
Bria:  "I want an ice cream of my own."
Me:  "But you had a tummy-ache."
Bria:  "I wanted a tummy-ache."

11/23/19
Today at lunch I was chatting with my parents when Bria grabs my head & whispers in my ear. I didn't understand what she said so I asked her to repeat herself. She pulls my ear to her mouth and whispers "Don't go chasing waterfalls."

11/26/19
Watching ‘Elementary’; Bria comes in and sits next to me. A scene comes on where Sherlock is at a doctor’s office. Bria turns and whispers in my ear, “I think he’s pregnant.”

12/12/19
Saw a picture of an Elf on a Shelf on Facebook. Bria was looking over my shoulder and saw it. “I want one of those creepers that hide!”

12/24/19
Bria: “My tummy hurts because I feel constipated.”
Russ: (Trying not to laugh) “Really? I’m sorry.”
Bria: “What does constipated mean?”


Friday, June 28, 2019

Today was my Grandpa's birthday


Today was my Grandpa's birthday...

He died three years ago and we celebrated his life and his passing on this day 3 years ago.

Tonight...when my mind finally calmed down from all of the burdens of today, my mind turned to  the moments with him that I miss most.

I remember him sitting in his corner, right near the trash and how he would always smile when I walked in.  And how whenever I needed to throw something away, he'd open the lid as I'd lean over him to toss it in and as soon as that lid dropped he'd grab me and hug me and say that he was never gonna let me go and I'd breathe in the scent of his cologne and say, "That's okay--you don't have to. I'm staying right here."  The more years that passed the scratchier those hugs got from all his whiskers and we'd joke about his "scratchy hugs".  

A couple weeks ago, my 6 year old daughter came home from VBS and said, "I miss Jesus. I wish he was here right now so I could give him a hug."   And I said, "Me too, baby girl.  Me too."

These two memories collided tonight and I imagined Jesus getting a scratchy hug from my grandpa and grandpa joking with him the way he did with me and saying, "I gottcha!  I'm never gonna let you go!"  And Jesus laughing and saying, "That's okay--You don't have to.  I'm happy to stay here with you forever."



Sunday, February 3, 2019

My Personal Manifesto




My Personal Manifesto
2/3/19

I am a Daughter of the Creator of the universe who sacrificed Himself to secure my adoption.
I conduct myself with Integrity & Character.
I follow through with my Commitments.
After my relationship with Christ, my husband is my priority followed by my children.
I value Honesty and Understanding.
I make Plans to ensure success but am Flexible to life's ebbs & flows.
I do not demonize my Emotions;  nor do I honor them as truth.
Life is full of Blessings and I choose to focus on the positive and not the negative.
I fill my mind and body with things that Nourish and not deplete.
I treat all people with Dignity & Respect.
I hold no grudges, forgiving freely and loving lavishly.
I am a Light in this world;  
I am a Garden bearing good fruit 
and I am a Citizen of heaven.



Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Books I read in 2018

Books I've read in 2018

  • 01) "The Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett 1/2
  • 02) "Firefight" by Brandon Sanderson (audio) 1/6
  • 03) "Calamity" by Brandon Sanderson (audio) 1/21
  • 04) "A Door In the Wall" by Marguerite de Angeli 1/30
  • 05) "Free of Me" by Sharon Hodde Miller 2/22
  • 06) "Will Save Galaxy for Food" by Yahtzee Croshaw (audio) 3/8
  • 07) "Snapshot" by Brandon Sanderson (audio) 3/9
  • 08) "Crispin: Cross of Lead" by Avi 3/18
  • 09) "Sweetbriar Cottage" by Denise Hunter 3/19
  • 10) "Anabel Lee" by Mike Nappa 3/20
  • 11) "Cry in the Night" by Colleen Coble 3/28
  • 12) "The Testing" by Joelle Charbonneau 3/29
  • 13) "Independent Study" by Joelle Charbonneau 3/31
  • 14) "Graduation Day" by Joelle Charbonneau (audio) 4/1
  • 15) 'The Lost Husband' by Katherine Center 4/2
  • 16) "Love & Respect in the Family" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs 4/4
  • 17) "Where We Belong" by Lynn Austin 4/8
  • 18) "The Bronze Bow" by Elizabeth George Speare 4/12
  • 19) "The View from Rainshadow Bay" by Colleen Coble (audio) 4/17
  • 20) 'The Raven' by Mike Nappa 4/21
  • 21) 'Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish: A Novel by David Rakoff 4/22
  • 22) "Love's Pursuit" by Siri Mitchell 4/25
  • 23) "Promises to Keep" by Ann Tatlock (audio) 5/3
  • 24) "A Murder, A Mystery, and a Marriage" by Mark Twain 5/9
  • 25) "Differently Morphous" by Yahtzee Croshaw (audio) 5/24
  • 26) 'A Study In Scarlet Women' by Sherry Thomas (audio) 6/16
  • 27) "The 49th Mystic" by Ted Dekker 6/27
  • 28) "Ascend Online" by Luke Chmilenko (audio) 6/28
  • 29) "Out of Spite, Out of Mind" by Scott Meyer (audio) 7/2
  • 30) "Because You're Mine" by Colleen Coble 7/12
  • 31) "Kill the Farm Boy" by Kevin Hearne & Delilah S. Dawson (audio) 8/8
  • 32) "The Phantom Tollbooth" by Norton Juster 8/12
  • 33) "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis 9/20
  • 34) "The Introvert's Edge: How the Quiet and Shy Can Outsell Anyone" by Matthew Pollard (audio) 11/3
  • 35) "Rise of the Mystics" by Ted Dekker (audio) 11/7
  • 36) "Talking As Fast As I Can" by Lauren Graham (audio) 11/8
  • 37) "Beyond Belief: My Secret Life inside Scientology and my Harrowing Escape" by Jenna Miscavige Hill with Lisa Pulitzer (audio) 11/14
  • 38) "Warcross' by Marie Lu (audio) 12/28