We had a friend over last weekend & as we were going over all the details of our in-progress kitchen remodel I remarked that I'd heard that the stress of remodeling can be really hard on a marriage but that we've had nearly no conflict during these very crazy past two months in which we have not only tore out our entire kitchen but also endured the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, given birth & then endured the first month home with the new baby & two small children. (If anything, we've gotten along even better.) At this our friend remarked with conviction, "Well, you guys are a special couple."
This casual comment really got me thinking. I have come to see that Russ & I really are a special couple and we come from backgrounds that are abundant with special couples-- making us pretty unique in our generation. I had very little exposure to fractured and/or unhealthy relationships growing up. My parents fought, as all couples do, but the authenticity of their love or the strength of their commitment was never a question, and now after 31 years of marriage they have a connection, love & understanding in their relationship that is enviable. Recently, however, now that I can see the world that exists outside of my family, I have been deeply distressed & heartbroken as marriages crumble around me. The thing is, that although divorce, betrayal & the like have always bothered me, in my mind they were always relegated to the realm of the lost. But lately so many of the people in my circles who are dealing with the tragedy of a broken marriage are Christians who I identify with or have admired. I ache for them and have been left questioning the steadfastness of my marriage. If it can happen to them...could it happen to me? But I keep coming back to the same conclusion that our friend so kindly pointed out; we
are special. Things happen and life could throw us some pretty big curves in the future, but I have faith that we can make it through stronger. I believe this for several reasons. First of all (and most importantly), Russ & I are on the same page when it comes to our relationship with Christ. Everything else depends upon this. It is so important for single Christians to not undervalue the importance of choosing a mate with whom they have a strong spiritual commonality. Secondly, we both have a reverence to commitment. We respect each other; we communicate freely; we forgive & forget; and we take time to show love to each other. If we continue with these priorities I know that our marriage will continue to be great!
Chatting with Russ on that evening back in Sept 2002 when we first met, I had no idea that he would be
THE guy. But when we started dating a month later, it became clear very quickly. And here we are 7 years later, married with 3 beautiful children and really just beginning our lives together. My hope is that we continue growing together with, for and in God and that when we are older, living together in an empty nest, we will have the bond & love that we see in those other "special couples", our parents & grandparents, who introduced us to Jesus and showed us that marriages
can live happily ever after!
"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage"
-- Martin Luther
