Forty

Lordy, lordy…I am a quadragenarian.

Part of me is a little sad that the “young” part of my life has passed and I’ve reached what is (hopefully) “the middle” of my life.  On the other hand…the middle of the sandwich is the best part (especially when you’re gluten free!)  According to the Facebook page, Bake Me I’m Yours, 40 is “when women acquire a special depth and level of wisdom, grace, confidence and success.”  I think they are correct. 

I may be a little flabbier in the middle and acquire a back injury backing out of my parking space at Target but I have never felt as confident and self-assured as I do at this point in my life.   Recently, I have spent much time reflecting on who I am and on how I got here and it’s obvious to me how correct Ralph Waldo Emerson was when he wrote, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”   The biggest growths in life do not often happen by accident.   Rather, they happen when we decide to change; when we decide that we can be something better than what we currently are and we take the first small steps toward becoming that.  And how much greater are those steps when directed & blessed by “El Roi”, the God who sees me (and loves me anyway!)    

If this is the middle then that means I have just as many years in front of me as I have behind and I want to enter this half with anticipation and not dread.  For I am going to keep improving the content of my mind, the sensibility of my emotions, my attentiveness to my body, and the depth of my character.   I want to know that I will hear “Well done.” when I finally see my Savior face to face.  

So today I am going to celebrate turning 40…

I am going to wake up a little earlier so I can study Exodus before breakfast.

I am going to drink a Starbucks chai and then maybe go to the gym.

I am going to help my kids with their math and not take it personally when they yell at me when they still don’t understand.

I am going to take my vitamins, eat my vegetables and then enjoy a little dessert instead of a big one.

I am going to wait politely in line, smile at the cashier and tip generously because I recognize that they just might be having a bad day, too.

I am going to feel overwhelmed, get frustrated & angry but I am going to take a deep breath, slow down and remember that I am in control of my emotions and they are not in control of me.

I am going to accept the help of others and I am going to offer to be the help they need in turn.

I am going to laugh, love, compliment & thank a little bit more than I rant, rave, worry & fear.

I am going to fail but I am always going to try again.