It was one year ago today that I experienced a miscarriage at 12 weeks.
And here I am today holding a sweet new baby girl--who was born a year (almost to the day) after I found out that my 4th baby had no heartbeat.
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It's bittersweet looking back. How can I be sad for my loss while holding this sweet child who could never have been had it not been for that loss? Yet how can I not be sad when I think of the child that once existed inside me but never made it to my arms? God clearly used that time in my life to reveal more of Himself to me and now my challenge is to hang on to the good and the Truth of who God is in spite of the hard things in this life and not give way to the fear that tries to bubble up and take me over.
A week after my miscarriage last year, I attended a worship service at my church. A couple of the songs we sang that night, now will always point me back to my lost baby and the way God was with me through that experience. Yesterday at church, we sang one of those songs, the hymn "Because He Lives". And in those minutes God's love hovered ever so close...reminding me of the journey from where I was last year...to where I am now.
Because He Lives I could face tomorrow. And because He lives there is always Hope. And Fear has only the power that I allow it to have.
Because He Lives
God sent His son, they called Him, Jesus;
He came to love, heal and forgive;
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!
Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives;
But greater still the calm assurance:
This child can face uncertain days because He Lives! ait
Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
And then one day, I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to vict'ry,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives!
Chorus
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
4 comments:
In all your words there is the essence of human life. Your joy of being the mother of four smiling girls repays all the sorrows that may happen. The baby-girl that was never born for us, for you only, always lives in your heart. It is said in each words you write. Those words, all those in the post, are merciful preys for so many great opportunities that HE gives you.
I have to thank you your example of love for Him: it's a very rare quality nowadays!
it is such an awesome privelidge to know Jesus. the reality of his being, the knowing of his love, the comfort of his presence.
to love those that we don't knoe because of the binding unity of his Spirit.
I love you because he lives. see you in glory sister and bro!
be comforted.
Antony from Australia
That's a beautiful, bittersweet story. I'm not nearly old enough to experience or understand that kind of thing, but God's love is great! God bless!
Thank you for sharing. x
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